How to give a child a real holiday or why taking gifts to orphanages is a bad idea

The winter holidays are approaching winter holidays are approaching and everyone wants to touch a fairy tale. Especially children. In Ukraine there are about 70 thousand orphans and children deprived of parental care. Some of them live in boarding schools. But is it worth bringing them toys and candy to make them happy for the holidays. UNN addressed this question to representatives of the representatives of the DobroDiy Charity Exchange, who regularly provide help children on a regular basis.

They say that bringing gifts to an orphanage is a bad idea. And here's why:

You come, give a gift, and disappear from the child's life. And the child, no matter how trite as it may sound, a child needs parents - responsible adults who can show that gifts are not all the care that people can show to each other. to each other. Otherwise, human relationships remain incomprehensible to such children and and eventually receiving gifts becomes more important.

Children in orphanages have nothing of their own. Everything they use belongs to the system in which they are placed and is clearly regulated by the relevant and clearly regulated by the relevant norms. In addition, there may be competition between children to master something and a toy you give them may cause conflict between them.

Children receive gifts for no reason and from people they don't know. According to statistics one child in an orphanage can receive from 4  to 20 gifts during the holidays, and most of them will be from those whom the child may never see again. These gifts are not actually backed up by anything, they appear are not actually supported by anything, appear in the child's life suddenly and for no reason - eventually forming the idea that they can get anything they want without any reason or effort. or effort.

Children in orphanages have a very conditional understanding of personal boundaries, and events where strangers give them gifts further erase these boundaries. Why should a child take something from a stranger? And think about this - some of these children may be psychologically of these children may be psychologically traumatized by an adult abuser and who knows whether this abuser did not start with a gift.

Let's return to the first point - the child does not need gifts, but parents. If we look deeper, a child needs responsible adults who can who can explain and show them what is good and what is not, what they should and should not do. А also need security, and this is not only about physical security, but also about the prospects in the future. Gifts do not solve these issues. When you give something to a child and and leave, they are left in the same situation as before - without parents around and with unclear prospects.

So is it possible, and most importantly how, to help children in children in orphanages.

Help me not to become an orphan:

- support low-income families;

- support families of former orphans;

- support single-parent families single-parent families;

- support families of seriously ill and disabled children.

If you still want to help orphans and children deprived of parental care, then contact charitable organizations that deal with this systematically. Ask what is needed or donate money to a specific charity.

You can also support those families who have taken in children.

And if you have the strength to you have the strength to go further, we remind you that there is a mentoring program in Ukraine - you can become a mentor for a child and help him or her prepare for an adult life, independent life. But in order to become a mentor, you need to undergo special training. And your task as a mentor is not to give gifts, but to to give gifts, but to help the child socialize, to understand the true value of human relationships.

And one more thing you can do can do is to give a child a family, to become a parent. This is a very responsible step that will require a lot of effort, but it is the best gift you can give to a child.

Orphans need your help your help. But gifts from strangers are not only not enough - they can they can be harmful.

Toys and candy, which are brought to orphanages in incredible quantities during the holidays are just a conscience-soothing measure for adults, but they actually do harm to children. It is better to contribute to the socialization and education of these children. You can do this financially, through charitable organizations, programs, or on your own, for example, by becoming a mentor or volunteer and giving a child the experience of communication, attention, friendship. These children need your attention and care all the time, not just on holidays and not just in the form of gifts , added Lolita Kuzina

For reference

The The DobroDiy charity was founded by sisters Yulia and Olena Sosedka. on August 1 , 2014 in Dnipro. Already in 2018, DobroDiy was recognized as one of the among the top three charitable organizations in Ukraine and received a the diploma of the National Competition "Charitable Ukraine-2018". In 2020, and 2022, the Exchange won 2 prizes in the National Competition "Charitable Ukraine 2020 and 2nd place in the Platform for Good nomination. In addition, in 2022, BB was included in the prestigious Top 100 Public Transparent Charitable Organizations of Ukraine (based on performance in 2022 )".

As noted by co-founder of the Charity Exchange "DobroDiy" Olena Sosedka noted about the the algorithm of the organization's work, thanks to cooperation with business, in contrast to traditional "passive" permanent fundraising to specific needs, charitable foundations can implement large-scale projects in a shorter time frame. In the end, this results in a combination of quality and efficient result.

"All 9 years "For me, DobroDiy is not about charity in the usual sense of the word. sense of the word. It is about our internal needs here and now to do what is necessary for those who need help and support," she says.